Are you terrified of your body?
I didn’t used to think I was.
At 25, I hired a somatic coach and that launched me into an awareness and healing I never thought possible. I learned about the fear I carry towards my own body when it comes to how my anxiety manifests.
Growing up in Christianity, as a very horny, queer, androgynous person, I adopted a lot of internalized shame. Yes, I can comfortably talk about sex and vulnerable topics, but that doesn’t mean I’ve sorted all my own trauma. I am still learning and have cried many healthy, healing tears around orgasms. Being in safe relationship is still something my body is getting used to.
Taking boudoir images of myself is a continued love letter in the wake of Christianity, comparison wounds, and somatic healing. It’s an act of protest against slut shaming, body shaming and so much more.
I’m passionate about boudoir because the human body is art and it should be esteemed as such. I’m passionate about boudoir because our culture is filled with fatphobia, homophobia and slut shaming. I’m passionate about boudoir because so many think they need to change before they are worthy of feeling sexy. I’m passionate about boudoir because I believe when people start to feel comfortable with themselves, that bleeds out to the communities around them and stirs cultural revolution.
I had a client, Chelsea Goodnough, who came into her session deep breathing from anxiety. She hated her body.
Throughout the session, I would check in with her and reassure her that she was doing so well. I was so proud of her for being brave and SHOWING UP.
After she saw the final photos, this was what she had to say:
“I literally thought I’d look at [the photos] & cry because of how much I hate my body. Instead I’m over here feeling like I can literally conquer the world! I’ve never felt so good in my skin. Ever. You have seriously given me something that I never could have given myself.
I’ve spent most of my life hating my body. Trying to cover it up, trying to suck it in. Subscribing to all the latest diet trends & falling flat every time. Battling either starving myself or binge eating just to look a certain way or fit into a certain mold.
This photo shoot helped me realize how much I can love my body exactly how it is. Stretch marks & all. Cellulite & all. Scars & all. Rolls & all.
I have felt so freed of societies constructs of beauty & worth recently & man is that a heavy weight.
Ladies, I beg you to step out of your shell. Wear the crop top, wear the dress, cut your hair, buy the sexy underwear! Do whatever makes you feel like your most authentic self.
It’s taken me years to heal the little girl who was so broken, abused & hurt. I’d like to think she’d be proud of who I’ve become.”
Book the session terrified. You are worthy of being celebrated in the here and now. You are worthy of the peace that comes from celebrating yourself.